Wedding Planning

Variations on a Theme: 40s Romance

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

So the 50s idea didn’t fly when placed under close scrutiny, but what about a hop, skip and a jump back about 10 years to the fabulous 40s? Mr. Road Trip’s favorite movie is Casablanca and one year for Christmas a certain little elf bought him the deluxe gift set that had just been released. I’d actually never seen the movie all the way through in one sitting (I know, there are some serious gaps in my classic movie history course; just like there are some major one’s in T’s pop culture movie appreciation) so our plan for New Year’s Eve became a quiet night in with Rick and Ilsa, champagne and strawberries and enough of a break to watch the ball drop. It was a fabulous night.

It was also followed up by a viewing of Carrotblanca–the Looney Toons parody of the feature film that, I have to admit, was more my speed than the source material.

Still, can you imagine the WWII fashion options, the dreamy music playing during the reception and the old Hollywood glamour; silver, black, and white decor with a hint of icy Tiffany’s blue, and–of course!–black and white photography!

1940s glam wedding inspiration board

Images via (L to R, top to bottom): Fairytales & Chandeliers; All Made Up Team (photography by Duc Pham of Tacolayo Photography); Paperspines; Best of Texas; Dirty Fabulous Vintage; Wedding by Color (uploaded by mechelle); Retro Art Glass; Saks; Skyscraper.org

Wait, why didn’t I want this theme?

Oh, right! As wonderful as it all was, to do it right–for us–would have meant a much more formal ceremony and reception than we really wanted and it could easily veer towards stuffy and trigger some major perfectionist tendencies. While there are many elements of this theme that I really loved, overall it just wasn’t the right fit for us as a couple or the event we wanted to host.

Are you as in love with the WWII era fashion and feel as I am?

Variations on a Theme: Little Things

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

Coming up with our first-dance song (something I didn’t have at either of my first 2 weddings and, therefore, something that was important to me to include this time) was actually pretty simple once I gave it some thought.

Yes, I.

It was a song Mr. Trips had shared with me when we were first emailing back and forth, a song I’d never heard before but the lyrics were very sweet and I tracked it down on iTunes shortly thereafter. It’s an old song (from the 50s) and one evening I mentioned it to T as a possibility for “our song” and he liked the idea well enough. One thing down! Woot!

Song titles or lyrics are quite the treasure trove of theme possibilities and this song spoke about Little Things, those tiny gestures and courtesies we grant each other that mean more than possessions and trappings. Nice, huh?

Well, mulling around the concept I could see centerpieces built of miniatures, a vintage feel and maybe dollhouse-sized items scattered about.

Images via: So You’re Engayged (photo courtesy of Michael Bonfigli), HV Green , Dollhouse Collectibles, Amy Bayliss

Taking a page from the era of the song the maids could be decked out in full-out crinolined dresses with little birdcage veils and–swoon!–wrist-length gloves. Oh, sure, I could see it. I even popped Mona Lisa Smile into the DVD player that night for inspiration.

50s Wedding Board
50s Wedding Board created on Polyvore (full links available at the source)

It isn’t a bad idea, but here’s the thing:

  • We’re not really into the vintage thing in general
  • Or dollhouses/miniatures (though I used to pine for one as a child)
  • We’re also not little people (he’s 6’ and a bit and we’re both on the fluffy side of things–the visual inconsistency would have driven me nuts)
  • It could easily get a bit costume-y with the dresses and so forth, and costume-y bits were mutually outlawed the first night we started discussing the wedding

So, Little Things–as a theme–was out. Next!

Anyone out there use miniatures or dollhouses as a theme? 

Variations on a Theme: Themeless

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning
Moroccan-themed dining room with alcoves, windows and a wine glass.

Maybe a Moroccan theme? Maybe not?

I was a band geek. In high school I spent 4 years compromising other bits of my schedule, missing out some great classes with the rest of my fellow gifted students, just so that I could keep my band status current. One year it even meant enrolling in Jazz Band (and switching instruments for the semester) just so I could take a class that was only offered during one period that I had to have for my Senior Year externship.

And if you were in band, you were in Marching Band. Our director, as the story goes, was not actually fond of marching band. But the principal loved it so perform we did. My freshman year our program consisted of 3 latin-style songs follow by, of all things, “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother” as our closer. The huh?

Sophomore and Junior years continued just as theme-less and I repeatedly petitioned the director for a themed show–one that made sense for pete’s sake! Finally, my Senior Year, our songs all came from Aladdin. By then I was on the Flag Corps for the marching season and you could not have found a happier girl. Even when we (the flag corps) only got 2s at Festival.

So it’s no surprise that when I plan a party there’s always a theme involved. A new project? I bet it started with a snappy name that directs the goals and visions for the final result. Dreaming in technicolor? Oh, yeah, there’s a single idea behind it all.

Except… when I thought about our wedding I was themeless.

It’s like being clueless but more frustrating.

I knew some things we weren’t going to do: anything that had been a major player in our previous weddings (big church ceremonies, no duplicating first dance songs, that sort of thing) and a few things I really wanted to include (dancing, a wine ceremony, comfort and ease). But there was no single, cohesive thread to stitch the bits together. I didn’t even have a color scheme in mind! (gasp!)

I voiced my confusion to Todd.

“Do we have to have a theme?” he replied.

Bless his heart.

I suppose, in truth, we don’t have to have any more cohesion than “we like this/we don’t like that.” But a theme helps. Not only does a theme contribute to easier decision making (does it go with the theme? yes or no) it helps the individual pieces of the ceremony and reception fit together like happy little cogs in our machine. Or–to be a little more modern–like sectors on our communal harddrive. Have you ever had a bad sector? It causes bumps and slow-downs and, eventually, a massive harddrive fail. We do NOT want a wedding harddrive fail.

So I was on the hunt for a theme.

Pretty Book and Flower Icon

Is having a theme as important to you as it was to me?
For you theme-less brides out there, what’s your decision process like without a theme to go by? 

Wedding At Sea

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning
2x2 grid of images of cruise ships

all images via stock.xchng (1,2,3,4) | photography by linder6580, coopgreg, taureq, OwnMoment

This “destination” wedding (well, really a multi-destination wedding) idea was another one we considered during the pre-engagement period where we could dream and theorize in private. While being “at sea” is usually a bad thing in a relationship–euphemistically speaking–when it means your world is on one ship with just about every whim catered to you, at sea sounds all right to me!

The Road Trips circa 2009 | Photography by Carnival Cruise Lines

The Road Trips circa 2009 | Photography by Carnival Cruise Lines

Mr. RT and I took a cruise vacation a few months before moving in together. Among other things, it was a nice trial run of sharing the same space 24/7 and–thankfully–we didn’t want to murder each other during or after the experience. We actually enjoyed being around each other constantly for a week. Score one for togetherness!

We loved the cruise, the floating resort-style vacation is exactly our cup of tea and we spent loads of time lounging in our room just chilling out and relaxing instead of feeling like we needed to be onthego all the time.

So what about a cruise wedding?!

The Pros:

  • Beautiful locations, just think of all the great photo ops!
  • Once you’re there, you’re there, and many of your needs are provided for.
  • It’s like a wedding and a honeymoon all in one!
There’s really something to be said for the idea of unpacking only once for a week spent travelling your chosen corner of the globe. And if you pick a port you can drive to, there’s virtually no luggage restrictions (this is great for bringing home souvenirs, just pack an extra duffle to carry them all home in so you don’t have to buy one in port–not that I’d know anything about that). The staff is very accommodating and, wow, do they love to spotlight the honeymooning couples for the shipboard activities.

The Cons:

  • In most cases, you can’t truly get married at sea anymore.
  • A cruise wedding can be price, between the wedding package plus your stateroom, and many don’t really provide a full reception, it’s more a cake and champagne affair.
  • Your friends and family are, effectively, on your honeymoon with you.

Ship’s captains lost the right to perform marriages at sea quite some time ago. These days you’ve got a couple of options: have a ceremony in your port of departure before embarkation or arrange (either through the cruise line or a private company) to have your ceremony on one of the port stops during the trip. The latter is a bit of a roll of the dice, though, as weather, mechanical failures or who knows what else could cause that particular port to be skipped or re-routed. For that reason in particular I’d suggest arranging a destination-port wedding with the cruise line as it’ll be easier to get a refund/rebook for the next port than if you use an outside company.

And speaking of bookings, the price of your ceremony package doesn’t always include the price of your stateroom, so you’re looking at at least two lump-sum fees, which may make this a less affordable option than previously thought. Some lines do offer discounts, however, if you’re booking a certain number of rooms (8 seems to be a common minimum), so if your friends and family are “on board” with the idea, you may all be able to benefit from the experience. Of course, if you’re more interested in a private honeymoon, having friends and family with you on the ship–no matter how big it is–might be a little too close for comfort by the end of the week.

So, while a cruise wedding was a fun idea at first, it didn’t make the final cut. But a cruise honeymoon–as cliche as it may be–could definitely be in the cards, right honey?!

(Seriously, we were <this> close to picking the Cruise Ship icon, we love them so much.)

Would you use your vacation time to go away on a cruise-ship wedding adventure as a guest?
And would you risk your wedding date being postponed or cancelled thanks to Mother Nature as a cruise-ship bride?

Destination: Wedding

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning
2x2 grid of images of Nashville, Las Vegas, New Orleans and a map with a magnifying glass

all images via stock.xchng (1,2,3,4) | photography by veralu, chadwood, allergyfre, illustration by lockheed

In the early stages of planning–no, make that pre-planning, dreaming and wondering–I thought that it might be interesting to do a destination wedding. Not necessarily to a passport-requiring tropical destination, just somewhere in the middle of our spread-out network of family and friends.

Mr. Trips is from Nebraska and his immediate family is still there. My family is spread out with key figures in Florida, New Jersey and Louisiana. What centrally-located city would provide a major airport, enough hotel space, plenty of venues and vendors and enough interesting stuff to amuse those not involved in the wedding minutiae?

Nashville.

And you know? When I first mused this aloud to Mr. Trips, he already knew the answer which makes me wonder if he’d pondered the same thing, himself, for a hot minute before throwing it right out of the window.

As fun as it would be, it’d be a bit of a haul for everyone, we know absolutely no one in that town so we’d be flying blind and planning long-distance–not a comforting idea–not to mention what it would do to our budget. Tallahassee may have an artificially inflated cost of living due to being the capitol city and having 2 major universities and all that, but at least we know the territory!

Another destination we considered and unconsidered was New Orleans–while beautiful and one of my favorite places on Earth, it’s also very close to home and our small, intimate wedding would very nearly double in size just for the fact that it’d be rude to return to my home state and not invite all of my family that lives within an hour of the Crescent City. We’ll talk about guest list decisions later on, but I didn’t want to have to sneak my wedding into even such a gorgeous place as the French Quarter.

Then there was Vegas–wedding capital of the world, right? Granted, we’ve said we wanted to go back there one day (our 3rd weekend together and first Valentine’s was spent there as part of a meetup for the site we met on), but a Vegas wedding didn’t really feel like “us.” Though, really, fall seems to be their slow period (we found out as we planned a February mini-convention–busiest month of their year, apparently).

Ultimately we decided to stick closer to our current home. While that didn’t completely rule out destinations up to, say, 4 hours away, it did increase the likelihood that our local friends will be able to make it to the party without too much fuss.

Did you consider a destination wedding?
What were your reasons for picking one (or not)?