Scene from an Office

Everyday Adventures

So there I am, at my desk, in my own little world of data entry and verification as Meat Loaf croons on about not doing that–whatever ‘that’ is–and my ears barely pick up the call of my boss saying ‘Hey, Encyclopedia…’

Me: Wait, what? Are you calling me?
Chorus of co-workers: YEEEESSS.

Me: Wait, what? I can’t hear you.
Boss: Your assignment is to go look up the type of chicken that lays colored–
Me: Araucana
Boss:–eggs. It starts with an ‘A’. What?
Me: Araucana
Boss: Okay, well then, forget looking it up. So it’s not the Anaconda Chicken that lays the colored eggs, Hugh, it’s the Araucana Chicken.
Mom: Instead of Enclyclopedia Brown it’s Encyclopedia [Scraps]
Me: Well, the only reason I know that without looking it up is because Martha Stewart based her basic paint colors/decorating schemes on the colors of the hens’ eggs.
Boss: Thank you Martha.

Obviously this does nothing for my reputation as the font of random knowledge around the office. Boss frequently likes to test my mental file cabinets by asking me random things he reads about. It even happened in the grocery store with the cashier: she asked did I know the difference between jam and jelly as she rung up the strawberry preserves I was buying that day. I thought it was a trick question so answered only ‘yes’ to which she replied: Really? You do? Because I don’t. What is it? (jam includes the pulp of the fruit while jelly is the juice congealed with added pectin)

Score one for retention?

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