And still barely at the beginning of the story. It’s only through chapter 5 at this point, and the chapters are a little small I’m thinking, but I put in a new chapter number when I reach a decent stopping point. It’s going well, though, and I expect to make it to 12500 after tonight’s writing session. Considering I have a 4 hour write-in planned for Saturday, I could be looking at being halfway there by Saturday night. Wouldn’t that be great? I’d totally be able to take Monday off (reward!) and then maybe take the laptop to Borders on Tuesday to write before Knit Night.
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(doncha just love this split-recaps)
This will probably be the last illness-related update until the end of next week after I have my GI consult. (gosh but that always makes me think of Marines…) Yesterday I got to Shand’s about 1:00 and went ahead and checked in at the reception desk on the third floor. I had a few moments of vertigo again, and I’m wondering if it has anything to do with elevators? Elevators combined with exertion? (I had to walk a bit to get from the parking garage to the med center) and I’d barely sat downto sign the miscellaneous paperwork when they called me back! Apparently the double-booked slot before me had both no-showed so I got in early and got out about 10 minutes after my appointment was supposed to start. I’m hoping it was because of the aforementioned exertion, but my bp was 143/94. Holy cow that’s high! (for me at least) I should have asked them to check it again before I left. Oh well.
Anyway, I need to make this quick because I need to leave for work, but after talking things over with this doctor, he is one more of the opionion that Carcinoid is unlikely. Okay, horse. dead. beating. BUT! Somehow he also thinks that doing the octreoscan *is* a good idea, that there is just cause to do so, and he’s writing a letter saying such to my local doctors and that will, hopefully, convince the HMO to approve the test to be done locally. If not, I’m to email him and he’ll either get it done up here or I’ll go back down to Gainesville for 4 days for the test. As I’m totally out of vacation time until January I’m hoping that CHP will cooperate but… we shall see.
It’s a Phyrric victory, though. I’m so tired of people telling me what it’s not without telling me what it is! I told Dr. K yesterday that, I want it found and fixed. He said, that’s not always how medicine works. But he’s humoring me, and for that I have a profound sense of gratitude. Humor all you want as long as you keep running tests, keep at least pretending to try and find it, whatever ‘it’ is.
For those of you who read this and pray or light candles or whatever your form of good vibes take and you’ve been doing so for me, I thank you. But if I may make a small request: Don’t pray that they find nothing, pray that they find something. Please. It’s not, as I’ve said before, that I want to be sick. I don’t. But I am. Something is legitimately wrong somewhere inside my body. And if these tests, the octreoscan and the endoscopies, come up with nothing, it could be years, maybe a decade, of dealing with these ‘inconveniences’ (and yes, that’s putting it mildly some days; trust me that if I completely spelled out the kinks this has put in my life you would be not only a twinge more sympathetic but rather grossed out at the same time) before they are willing to try and look for it again. I need answers, a direction to go in, a name to put to this. Ideopathic isn’t an option, it isn’t an answer, at least not a good one. So if you pray, pray for that.