The problem with Democracy…

Everyday Adventures

(aka why autocracy and dictatorships have the right idea)

(and no, this has nothing to do with actual Politics)

The problem with being democratic in, say, interpersonal relationships, is that everyone supposedly has an equal say in the goings on of the whole (I say supposedly because its an ideal… it doesn’t really work this way. I mean, think about it: Even with two people, if one decides they want out, well, it doesn’t so much matter what the other person wants, they have to accept it or become a stalker… not exactly what I’d call ‘equal say’, but I digress.). *How* is this a problem you ask? Well, hang with me for a minute and I might get to my point.

So, in any relationship there are at least two people involved (we are ignoring the stalkers and delusional unrequited folks). Occasionally there are more than two involved, and sometimes those ‘excess’ (not the usually connotation here, folks) or peripheral involvants have that pesky ‘equal say’ for one reason or another. This is where you get the problems.

It’s hard enough to get two people to agree on things because there are as many opinions as people (some old, now-dead, Greek or Roman dude said that, but I’ll be dashed to remember who) and that’s just the way it works. So when you deal with a group (and I define, for the purpose of this discussion, a group as three or more parties) it’s exponentially more difficult.

This is why I think certain relationship structures should follow a autocracy or dictatorship [is there a better word for this that I’m missing? I keep mentally tripping on that word but the internal Thesaurus is being sluggish] model as opposed to a democracy. Like roosters and hens. Roosters rule the hen-house, they make the rules, they have the say. Hens do not run the rooster, this just isn’t the way of things. The rooster might consent to the wishes of one hen or another, but he still has say.

[Zoologist and orinthologists please don’t correct me here. I’m not looking for scientific reality if it differs from my perceptions. This is not an educational treatise but merely the ravings of an emotionally addled woman, don’t you see that?]

As humans, so-called evolved and capable of reason, we tend to automatically buck against something so simple as autocracy. But, you know, sometimes I think it wouldn’t be so bad. Yes, even I, a fiercely independant woman who clings to her personal autonomy as a child to its favorite toy or blanket [no, I’ve not missed the subtext of comparing myself to a needy child], would be a lot happier if certain chicken-coops were ruled by a sure-minded, take no prisoners, what I say goes rooster rather than by rooster and hen committee. So there.

–a paranoid Hen

3 thoughts on “The problem with Democracy…

  1. I have to agree that you need a better/different word than dictatorship. I say this because I think it might border on oversharing – images involving whips, chains, spike heels, and leather keep popping into my head (and please don’t share one way or the other, it won’t help). Perhaps I just need sleep – ~ 4 hours is just NOT enough.


  2. Poor Ana – Perhaps it might help if there is a vehement _denial_ of any use of the hardware that she mentioned?

    *just trying to help

  3. We could use “oligarchy”. It’s not committee; it does acknowledge that many poly relationships aren’t really either a dictatorship or _truly_ democratic, but run by a few. (I suppose we could also coin “duocracy” for those poly relationships which are run by a couple.) (COOL! “duocracy” made barf!)
    And sometimes one of the hens runs it, while the rooster just looks startled a lot. (Scraps, have you ever noticed that your sweetie does look startled rather frequently? ::grin::)
    Hugs to you all!

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