Under Pressure

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

After a month more-or-less away from wedding planning, I’ve jumped back in to try an pick up where I left off with the location hunt.

I have one word for that: Ugh!

It’s like getting out of the habit of diet or exercise, you start back up expecting to be where you were but, no, you’ve slipped.

So back I’ve trawled through my Wedding Mail folder, digging up the old quotes and trying to figure out what else I need in order to make a decision.

One thing that was painfully apparent: I need caterer quotes, too.

As some of the places we’re looking at are all-in-one, the ones that are location-only aren’t easy to compare apples to apples. It’s not even like apples to oranges, it’s more like apples to kumquats.

Harnessing the power of the Internet I send out a handful of hopeful ballpark estimate requests. I was upfront about our budget limitations, explained the vision I had for our reception based on our favorite dining experience to date, and explained how I saw that transitioning to our wedding reception.

The first reply I got said our budget was a bit low for that sort of meal (a bit? try it needed to double, and then some). Another came back with a figure that was just a bit over on the low end, but that was before rentals I’m pretty sure. And then there was someone I’d really love to work with, based on her vibe, but we’d need to be able to budget an extra grand for staffing OR go with a style of service that I’m just not a fan of.

Le sigh…

Yes, I know we have over a year until the wedding, so theorhetically we’ve got LOADS of time to make a decision.

And yet, the pressure (mostly from myself) to make a decision is nigh-on overwhelming. On the one hand, everything seems to hang on the location decision: how much budget is left for everything else, how many decorations will be needed, what reception scenario we’ll go with, etc. On the other hand, I’m afraid of choosing too soon in case something “better” were to come along after that non-refundable deposit is handed over, or–even worse–our chosen location closes or comes under new management.

Plus the, possibly irrational, fear that whatever choice I make might be seen as the wrong one on the day of. What if I choose the wrong menu? What if–you know what? I’ve got to stop this.

A final round of requests has gone out and we’re just going to have to make a decision and have done with it.

I want to wake up on the morning of our wedding thinking “yay, it’s here!” and not “thank god this is almost over,” and to do that we’ve got to start moving forward.

Pretty Book and Flower Icon


Have you ever lingered over a decision you put pressure on yourself to make?

But It’s MY Day, Or Is It?

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

Watching one of those train-wreck reality shows the other night where yet another whiny bride-to-be screams after her disagreeing groom “It’s MY DAY!” Todd shakes his head and asks, “What’s all this My Day stuff, isn’t it Our Day?”

I love that man.

Yes, more than anything it is Our day. I’ve never had the all-about-me desire that many brides seem to have (in fact, to tell the whole truth, being the center of attention for that long is a little scary!). But it’s not just us–it’s also for our guests.

And here’s where the real tightrope-walking comes in:

While it’s true that we want to do things our way and not be forced to go along with a practice or “tradition” just because everyone else does or certain people expect it, we also want our guests to enjoy themselves and, basically, be great hosts.

I know there will be the inevitable scrunched nose at some of our choices, but for every 2 steps we take off the beaten path, it’s probably a good idea to put out a familiar mile marker to our guests looking for the straight and narrow.

And something tells me I might need reminding of this magnanimous point of view when I get one too many scrunched noses or “what are the rest of us going to eat” responses but, really, if we didn’t care about our guests, we would have bothered inviting them, right?

Pretty Book and Flower Icon

Do you keep your guests in mind as you make wedding decisions
or do you see them just a captive audience?