Cockroach Karma

Everyday Adventures

aka Be Careful What you Wish for…

Now, I’m a little fuzzy on exactly which eastern religion believes that the highest compliment that can be paid you is to be reincarnated as a bull and the lowest would be as a cockroach, and it may even be an urban legend or a gross paraphrase by us infidels, but whatever. My point is, there are some people I know who would just LOVE to come back as a cockroach merely for the opportunity to annoy the living snot out of others.

So. Last week I was entertaining the idea of altering my schedule a bit to see if getting up earlier to have a leisurely amount of time to shower and futz around the apartment before heading off to work might actually make for a more pleasant start to my day. (I know, it’s brilliant right? I’m Einstein…) Note that, this was purely hypothetical as my usual m.o. is to shower before bed because generally I don’t trudge out from the covers until I’ve got 20 minutes to get out the door (if that). So it’s a nice thought, right? But am I going to actually act on it? Probably not…

Low and behold, Friday morning my eyes pop open to a most unwelcome sound: the skittering of a creepy crawly (CC for short) inside a plastic bag. Now, CC apparently decided to come in from the heat (of which there was plenty to be had outside even overnight) and the unwelcome guest decided to be yet a further nuisance by going through my things (the nerve).

In a most un-Post-like [that’s Emily to the uninitiated] move he proceeded to prowl amidst my yarn stash and, just like a man, couldn’t fight his way out of the plastic bag, but woke me up in the process.So, alarmed at the fate of this poor creature [ahem] I leapt to his aid, gingerly freeing him from the confines and then bashing his brains out for daring to wake me up.

I’m *not* a morning person.

But y’all, I’ll tell you this. It was 6:03 in the morning when this happened. After the search [for CC] and rescue [of myself] mission was complete I was fully awake and got to test out my leisurely morning theory (LMT for future reference). Not only was it beyond pleasant to take a nice long shower first thing in the morning, but I had time to check my emails, freshen the polish on my nails, and still make it to work early. Early I said: the response by the one coworker already at the office was expletive filled in astonishment and those that arrived after wondered if their clocks were slow allowing as to my car already being in the parking lot.

Momma even thought that the sound should be recorded and used as my alarm every morning. I did not find that amusing, naturally, but she recanted her opinion when I started talking computer stuff so soon after 8 o’clock. Her exact words were, ‘Maybe it’s not such a good thing that [she] wakes up so early.’

So I suppose, dear friends, that the lesson here is be careful what you wish for, even in passing, because it just might come as a 2″ palmetto bug.

2 thoughts on “Cockroach Karma

  1. As an admitted CC-phobic, I think that if the sound of skittering bugs in my stuff would make a good alarm clock sound, then I would also guarantee that I would be starting most of my days in a pretty nasty mood…

    Considering that I’ve gone through some odd OCD rituals to avoid repeat encounters with said CCs (nudging/shaking shoes & clothing, patting car seats, etc.), I’d be a less happy person to be around if I heard bugs that often.


  2. YUCK!!! I have to say that would NOT make my day. I’m definately CC-phobic, just ask my poor husband. Of course the morning thing is not so bad, once I’ve had my caffiene. But I might not be one to ask right now – since I just got up from a nap (to give my poor wrist a typing break) and I’m at work writng this post at ~2am. Then again I’m trying to get my dissertation out ASAP. Happy, coherent thoughts for me please.

    Ana, the insane

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