hah! I’m back, and so are the daily word counts. Last night my MC was taught to play Texas Hold ’em by two of the supporting characters and not only is she winning (I dealt real cards, it’s amazing how it worked out, really!) I think I might actually be able to play without notes when Andrew comes to town (i.e. Thanksgiving). Penny ante anyone?

In general my pace has slowed down, writing wise, in part because I actually had to deal with the cards and keeping track of how it was supposed to go and would SC2 stay in or fold with that hand, that sort of thing, because realism is important to me and you canna change the laws of poker and all. Right Scotty?

Anyway, it’s also slowing down a bit because I’m building up to the first true conflict of the story. The inner should I/shouldn’t I of the MC can only count for so much and is only tolerable for so long before some outer event, one she will blunder into on her own and realize only too late, needs to happen to add actual tension to the story. That’s coming up, and I’m trying to decide whether I need to go straight to that scene, thus skipping the one I had in mind before it, or keep the scenes as I planned. I worry a bit that I’m spending a bit too much time before the first conflict and if I’ve managed to build up characters enough.

Why, yes, I do believe I’m overthinking this, considering it’s quantity over quality month. But really, it’s not quite halfway through the month and I’m fairly comfortably over halfway done, so if I choose to dither about what goes where as I’m writing, so be it.

I’ll probably keep the scene in, maybe summarize bits that don’t need to be drawn out so much, for the sheer fact that it’s another party scene and they are good for word count. If I start to bog down I can wrap it up with a summary of the necessary bits, and move on to the nearest pivitol scene. Considering this is still Part 1, I’m good, but I don’t want it to drag. Plus there is the subplot that crept in about 20 pages back (I’m somewhere like on page 105 or some such right now) that needs to be checked in on, but that might need to happen after the conflict… might add more fuel to the fire that way. Don’t know yet.

* * *

Now then, what else happened yesterday? Ah, yes, another doctor’s appointment. Thankfully this will be my last, it seems, for a bit, perhaps even until January. This is a mixed blessing I’m sure, but hey, I’ll take what I can get right now. Dr Z agreed that we’ve ruled out Cushings and Hashimotos for the time being. He’s not taking Carcinoid syndrome off the chart yet because since we’re still testing it and for insurance reasons if nothing else it needs to be there to support the further investigation, though he’s still not sure about it. What he does seem sure of is the Metabolic syndrome, which, while valid IF my bp was climbing into the stratosphere or my cholesterol was doing bad things or I was into some sort of cardiovascular disease or an insulin resistant diabetic, which none of those things apply.

Metabolic syndrome/disorder is a set of risk factors basically, and depending one whose set of factors you go with you need at least two or three positives before it’s diagnosed. And then its just a whole health thing treating the symptoms, etc, some lifestyle changes, some medicine (for cholesterol or lipids, isulin, etc.). The only positive I have for the is my weight, which I’m working on. So how he can type me as that when even he says ‘not now, but 5, 10 years down the road you could be diabetic with serious problems’ is beyond me when, in classic double standard territory, he won’t admit that my current symptoms consistent with carcinoid syndrome could be the warning shots of a disease in the early stages. Or, at least, he wouldn’t until I put it that way, then he finally admitted there was some validity to that. Thank you! That’s what I want, to have this taken seriously. If it means I have to go annually for that massive amount of blood workup to watch trends (providing the scans and scopes are clear) then okay, as long as you’re willing to keep watching and looking, I can deal with that rather than telling me, ‘nah, it’s not worth bothering to look.’ The metabolic syndrome also does nothing to explain the symptoms I’m having, meaning it still doesn’t solve the problems at hand.

SO. Now I wait for the go ahead from CHP for my octreoscan. And here’s where it might be January again. See, there’s a place in town that does them, but Dr Z would really prefer me to have the scan at Shands because of the fact that they are more experienced with the scans, that they would know better what to look for, and that it would be more reliable than having it done here. The down side, of course, is that I’d have to spend three or four nights in Gainesville, so there is vacation time to be needed, hotel rooms (of course there is a discount option for hospital things nearby with a shuttle even, so I may have to look into that) and so forth. Hence, IF we decide to have it done at Shands then I would have to wait until January to have it done, or the very beginning of February, since my next appt with Dr Z is Feb.13

The other thing I was able to discuss with him was the possibility of systemic mastocytoses, which is something else that could be causing the cutaeneous flushing along with the intestinal issues, and would be consistent with an elevated Histamine level, which I had back in February of last year along with the elevated 5HIAA. We’ve not done another, and apparently are not going to as that is very subjective and hard to pinpoint and labs tend to screw it up. His words. But then we get on a whole slipperly slope about how if one test is unreliable at that lab (or even several are) how can any be trusted and do we really want to go there? Yeah, I didn’t think so. The other way to check for this other possibility though, is a bone marrow test (ouch!) which is done through the hip bone (OUCH!) and would require yet another doctor, this on a hematologist, since it’s an overabundance of mast cells. So apparently we’re not going down that road yet.

Also apparent is that I’ve got to start walking a thin line with just how concerned I’m allowed to be about my health or someone is going to insist on putting me on  happy pills to the point where I won’t care that something is wrong. So, to keep from being dealt the crazy hypochondriac card, I’m going to do my utmost to not pester the doctors, not ask questions, and not admit to freaking out or having blue days or feeling a bit resentful because I can’t seem to make plans with friends, etc. because I cannot be sure how embarassing the intestinal issues will make the situation, or my flushing will make people think I’m breaking out in hives or having some sort of attack. Because then one doctor or another is going to be all too happy to write all this off to anxiety, tell me its all in my head, and have me committed.

While I could use a real vacation, Sunnyland is NOT my idea of a vacation.