to do lists

The 7-Month To-Do List

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

To-Do List graphic

With just over 200 days to go I admit the wedding is looming larger in my thoughts. Seems like just last week I was writing up the 8-month list, and now, well, 7 months is awfully close to 6 months and 6 months is practically nothing in wedding time!

In other words: I’ve got to get on the ball!

The experts seem to suggest that 7 months is one of those limbo months, no hard and fast to-do’s other than what’s left from the 8-months and on, but I beg to differ. Seven months out seems the perfect time to knock out some serious DIY!

To that end, allow me to suggest some projects that would benefit from some attention if you, as well, are rapidly approaching 200 days out!

  • Research any vows, readings, or rituals you want included in your ceremony and begin to draft your wedding program in preparation of meeting with your officiant.
  • Purchase the necessary liability insurance if you venue requires it and you have no homeowners policy to attach a rider to. Some policies can’t be purchased more than a year in advance, and now’s a good time to take care of the necessary paperwork before logistical meetings with your venue really heat up.
  • Start shopping for non-perishable supplies for your OOT (out-of-town) bags, favors, bathroom baskets, survival kits, etc. While this depends on how much storage space you have to devote to wedding stuff, stock-piling now means less rushing around later. At the same time, beware buying larger-ticket items until your guest list is more firm.
  • Planning on paper or other non-fresh flowers? Get started on them if you haven’t already. If for no other reason than to figure out just how many you’ll need. Don’t forget about altar decorations or arrangements  for any buffet or cafe tables during cocktail hour, in addition to the usual centerpieces.
  • Start planning out your invitations if you’re designing them yourself. This would also be a good time to brush up on your calligraphy if you planned to hand-address your envelopes.

Essentially, ladies, it’s time to seize the moment and get what we can done now before time slips away from us. Before we know it, we’ll be in a double-digit countdown to the big day and we want to get there with as little stress as possible, yes?

Pretty Book and Flower Icon

 

What’s on your to-do list this month?
Do you feel like you’re ahead of the game or falling behind?

The 8-Month To-Do List

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

To-Do List graphic

Another month down and a whole new list of things to work on this month in order to stay on track for our November wedding. Now, last month we’d already completed all the suggested to-dos but had plenty of DIY to get done, still. Let’s see how we’re looking for this month:

  • Hire the photographer and videographer (photographer: check! videographer–would be nice, but we’ll have to see how the final numbers shake out)
  • Book entertainment (it’s not that type of a wedding, folks)
  • Meet caterers (they came with the venue and we won’t sit down for a tasting for a few more months)
  • Purchase wedding dress (done!)
  • Reserve a room block for out-of-town guests (there’s on-site lodging at HLP, but it might not hurt to reserve some rooms in-town, too, huh?)
  • Register for gifts (we’re opting out of this one)
  • Create your wedding website (started, not yet complete)

So, not to shabby on the to-do front, only a couple things left to be dealt with for this month: the room block for folks wishing to stay in town as opposed to in the country, and the wedding website.

The above is based on the Ultimate Wedding Planner on RealSimple.com. It’s fabulous and this month so stream-lined that it’s more of a quote than a paraphrase. Other sites also suggest I start my wedding workout routine now (um, hi, have we met? No) and to book a florist. Since we’re not using one of those, we’re good, thanks. They also suggest finalizing the guest list.

See, now this is one of those sticky bits for me. We have a working list, it’s more or less set, but it’s short on family and tall on friends. Frankly, friends have a way of wandering away over time, and 8 months is still plenty of time for someone to piss me off enough to where they’re no longer welcome in my house, much less at my wedding. (It’s already happened once, sad to say–only not really, life is much sweeter without toxic people around, right?) Also, whose to say we don’t meet a fabulous new friend in 4 months? And we’ve got a strict body count to work with for our reception venue, so I’d hate to make one of those instantaneous, we-must-have-known-each-other-in-a-former-life type of friends and not be able to invite them because we’re friendly with but not platonic crushing on is already taking up a spot. So the guest list will likely not be finalized until 2 months before when we start prepping the invitations.

As for the Save the Dates, we’re sending them (because I love the idea of them and the idea I have for them, more on that soon), but only to the definites: family members, long-time friends, select coworkers.

Gosh that sounds mercenary, but considering the hell I go through with who to invite to the house parties we regularly throw, I’m really not wanting to chance it, ya know?

And, yes, I’ll be putting together one of those template-based wedsites that just about every plugged-in bride and groom use and you know why? Because our guests don’t necessarily need to see all this rambling I’ve got going on up in here. It’s just not relevant. Not to mention it’ll spoil what few surprises we might be planning, ya know?! To that end, though, I’ve had one started via theknot.com since last fall (last fall meaning 2011, way before we had anything to put up there other than the date…I liked to look at the countdown). Now we actually have information to fill in the blanks!

Pretty Book and Flower Icon

 

When did you start your wedding website?
Did you use one of the templates through a big wedding site or make your own from the ground up?

The 9-Month To-Do List

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

To-Do List graphic

Long engagements seem to be out of favor, according to most popular wedding checklists.

Sure, some might have a to-do list that starts around the 1-year-out mark, but it’s mostly dreaming and broad sweeps at that point. But when you reach 9 months? Then things start to get interesting!

Just to catch us up, here’s what those in know say should be done before the end of the 9-month mark (paraphrased from Real Simple):

  • Get your tear-file ready: a binder, folder, or other place to keep magazine pages, brochures, and vendor info you collect along the way. A folder on your computer or special boards on Pinterest will also do just nicely. (definitely done)
  • Budget: construct one. Figure out who’s paying what and how much you/they can afford. (also done)
  • Decide on your attendants. (pretty easy: we’re not having any; done!)
  • Guest List: have one. (we’ve got a working list–could use some firming up–and it’s under our max occupancy at the Plantation, so we’re good there)
  • Hire a wedding planner/DOC. (came with the venue; done!)
  • Pick your date. (oh, we’re definitely done, there!)
  • Book the venue. (done!)
  • Book the officiant. (done–but I haven’t told you about that, yet)
  • Research other vendors–florals, food, music, and photo (not only researched, but 2 of the 4 booked and the other 2 not needed!)
  • Host an engagement party. (we opted out of this one; so lets consider it done, too!)

Hey, we’re in pretty good shape!

Of course, on our personal to-do list, there are plenty of things that do need working on. No matter how complete a published planner may try to be, the author has to write for as general a base as possible. Smaller weddings may not need as many of the bells and whistles that some larger ones do, and DIY weddings will have a lot more items to check off.

Without being too specific to our own list, here are some examples of items that might be on the DIY to-do list, up through the 9-month mark:

  • Collect items for centerpieces–be it wine bottles, milk glass, vintage books, mercury glass, little animal figures, or even Lego kits. You may not know exactly how many tables you need for centerpieces just yet, so err on the side of too many unless your materials are extremely costly.
  • Making paper flowers? Start yesterday. One of the big benefits of faux flowers–paper, fabric, clay, or anything else–is that they won’t wilt if you start them early, and even the potential hassle of storing the delicate items is worth not stressing out the closer you get to the wedding.
  • Start researching ceremony options if you’re writing your own or personalizing a more traditional ceremony to suit your needs.
  • Going the iPod (Spotify, etc.) DJ route? Start pulling together your play list, seeking out and purchasing or ripping digital copies of the songs you’ll need. And don’t forget a getting ready playlist while you’re at it! Also, look into renting any speakers you might need, depending on the space you’ve got to broadcast to.
  • Artists, start sketching your ideas for your paper goods–it’s coming up on time to send out save the dates and you don’t want to have to rush.
  • Now is a good time to start putting together your wedding website if you want one. There are plenty of free templates available on the big wedding planning sites, or you could get a free site from wordpress.com or blogger.com

All of the above items are in-progress for us, but not yet settled. I suppose, since the traditional to-dos are taken care of, we might as well concentrate on those for the next month.

Pretty Book and Flower Icon

 

How’s your planning coming along?
Anything I’ve forgotten at this stage?

——————–

And with that we’re back to our usual blogging schedule. Actually, better than usual if I manage to keep up with the schedule I’ve set for myself! The closer we get to The Day the more things I’ll have to talk about! Thank you for your patience while I was “away from keyboard” this last month–I managed to get quite a few back-end tasks off my to-do list and even spruce up TTB a bit in the process.

11 Months and The Big List

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

To-Do List graphic

December 2nd marked 11 months until the wedding and things haven’t progressed much since last month.

Oh, wait, I take that back!

I sat down and made The Big List of all things wedding left to do and it took 8 pages in my little notebook. I’m in the process of putting it all into a spreadsheet so I can do all my sorting and shuffling and happy little OCD-ish organizing stuff. So far I’m 2 written pages in and on line 36. It’s gonna be a long one, folks!

But what’s fun about the whole list-making process is you can make it any way you want.

I set up my list with these headings:

  • Category (decor, logistics, papers, etc.)
  • What (that actual thing to do)
  • Who (me, Todd, both of us, a vendor, etc.)
  • Where (venue, home, “global” for those pesky things that could come from anywhere)
  • When (due dates, meeting dates, appointments, etc.)
  • Why (useful when you question your sanity–“so the tables won’t be nekkid” and “because it’s cool” are totally valid answers for why)
  • How (we’re not talking step by step, it’s more like “shopping,” “crafting,” and “think, think, think” for decision-making things)

Did you know you can insert pictures into spreadsheet cells? Sure, Pinterest and bookmarks work, but why sift through the 150 things you pinned last Saturday once you’ve narrowed your faves down to 2 or 3? Just pop a thumbnail in a cell and you’ve got it all in once place.

Generally speaking, one list leads to more lists but you can’t get to List 2 without List 1.

We managed to book our engagement photo shoot for January–might be a little chilly but that could work for us (I like sleeves, you know). It could also be a freak hot snap and we’ll melt. Either way it’ll be caught on film!

Also, I’ve been working on the beaded trim for my cropped cardigan. I’ll do a more in-depth look at the hows and stuff once I get this part of it fully done. But here’s a sneak peak of it in process:

Beaded trim in progress

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What’s the longest list you’ve ever tackled?

Creating The List

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

Into every wedding, a list must fall.

Most weddings, several lists come into play. If you have a wedding planner, he or she will have a list for you. If you’re planning it yourself, every bridal book and magazine and website has lists for you to follow.

The thing about those lists, is that it’s hard for 1 person to come up with a list that’s going to fit your wedding perfectly. So you’re either skipping over the things that don’t apply, or writing more stuff into the margins. And that’s no good.

Instead, I suggest you take your top 3 lists, from whatever source they came from, and create your own master list.

Sounds scary, and like a lot of work, but once this bad boy is put together you’re going to feel really good about what’s ahead.

Right now I’m a couple weeks out from our big, mostly-annual Halloween party. Now, considering how many times I’ve thrown this party, you might think everything gets done in my sleep by now.

No

In fact, each party I throw is always a little different because I tweak things here, add things there, ditch stuff that didn’t work, and so on. And even if it was a cookie-cutter operation, there are still things that need to get done each year and if I don’t have them written down, there’s a good chance I’m going to forget something until the last moment and have to scramble.

As a hostess, I prefer not to be scrambling when the guests arrive.

Granted, this is a party for 20 or so friends and family, not exactly the scope of a wedding, right?

Think about it this way: my parties include mailed invitations, a menu, decorations, seating, activities management, and even party favors. The difference between one of my usual parties and a wedding is only a matter of scale.

And there have been plenty of small, backyard weddings that took less than the planning and prep for my average Pumpkin Party or Fairy Fest.

Back when I was planning on becoming a professional event planner (end of high school, early college; pre-Culinary School, obviously), one of the best tips I ever learned was to do a mental walk-through of the event as a guest. In your head, your imaginary guest is going to do everything you’ve planned for them to do, and it’ll point out things you might have missed like making sure there’s a trash can nearby.

To build on that, for a wedding list, I’d say go through each part of the event–starting with the rehearsal dinner–and mentally attend it, asking yourself the big questions.

Who‘s in charge of it?
What do you see? hear? taste? feel? smell?
Where‘s it gonna be?
When is it?
How will be people know about it? get there?
Why is this important?

We’re incorporating the “reporter questions” with the 5 senses and filling in the blanks. Not all questions will be applicable to all settings, but it’s good to run through them in case something jogs your memory. As you think through those items, write down or type everything that comes to mind.

Thinking about our rehearsal dinner, my answers would look something like this

*bride & groom
*People–family and out of town guests, music–supplied by site, food–small group, off the menu?
*restaurant (make reservations)
*November 1, time tba, depending on venue schedule
*Guest list for the rehearsal, send out with invitations, arrange shuttle or carpool for guests in from out of town
*So that we can relax with our friends before the frenzy of the next morning.

So, from thinking this through, I know that I need to add the following to my Event Master List

  • Create rehearsal dinner enclosure for select guests, include with invitations
  • Get count for rehearsal dinner
  • Firm up rehearsal time with ceremony site
  • Make reservation at La Fiesta
  • Ask about fee for resort shuttle for guests staying on property
  • Alternately figure out how many people will need transport and how many cars will be available
  • Ask about limited menu vs a la carte at the restaurant
  • Decide if we’re presenting any gifts at rehearsal dinner
  • Make/purchase gifts (optional)
  • Decide on payment method (credit/debit/cash, etc.) for dinner
  • Make sure to have cash on hand for tips

Because my goal is to relax at the dinner, I’m not going to worry about decorations (the restaurant we’re planning on reserving has lots of natural decor anyway, it’s not a blank slate by any means).

Then you just keep going through your event, working with whatever rough (or specific) timeline you’ve got.

When I get to the walk down the aisle, I’ll “see” the decorations that I want, so they go on the list as something to make, along with the flowers (or whatever) in my hand, and so on and so forth.

Once you’ve got the Master List compiled, then you get to play jigsaw puzzle with it (because different things get done at different times), arrange things in the order that makes sense to you, and it’ll start to look like one of those lists you see in the magazines. And speaking of those lists, use them as a template as far as distance from the event staging, transfer over the things from those lists that apply to you along with your own mental walk-through list, and what you’ll end up with is an Event Master List that is perfect for your event, and not cookie-cutter to the average wedding, etc.

If you make your list in a spreadsheet program, you can color code your text and fields to make it easy to glance at. Or, if you prefer lots of mini-lists, feel free to make sub-lists (like a Packing List, a DIY Project list, a Payments to Make list, etc.) from your master list so you avoid overwhelming yourself with 1 big list.

And if you absolutely hate lists, find a friend willing to channel their inner Monica and send up a flare.