Who Says You Can’t Go Home?

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning
The Chapel at Honey Lake Plantation

The Chapel at Honey Lake Plantation (and our back-up ceremony spot in case of rain) | personal photo

No, we’re not considering the Jennifer Nettles/Jon Bon Jovi collab for our wedding song (though that might be a fun lark, and certainly not the most inappropriate song choice ever).

During our recent venue-hunt, I had a most surprising feeling overcome me: I almost missed being a member of a church.

I mean, really, if you’ve got a “home church” and it’s got a fellowship hall, you’re all-but made in the shade as far as venue is concerned.


While going through my first divorce, a well-meaning friend informed me during one of my “I’ve failed” pity parties that I was young, I’d fall in love again, I just couldn’t get married in our church.

Say what?!

Our pastor at the time was old school. Very old school. And he took the once married always married idea quite to heart. It wasn’t like I’d be banished from the congregation should I remarry, he just wouldn’t be performing the ceremony as, to him and his take on the scriptures, that would be condoning adultery, essentially.

If that’s shocking to you: welcome to this particular brand of independent fundamental Baptist in the Bible Belt of The South.

But it’s not just down here that second weddings aren’t as favored in certain houses of worship.

Mr. Trips’ former wife wanted a full Catholic ceremony but, since she was previously divorced, said ceremony could not be held in a Catholic church. Instead, they did the full mass, communion, etc. in a Methodist church.

Of course, by the time I was contemplating a second marriage, that pastor had retired and our newer, younger, pastor felt differently: God can forgive murder but not divorce? The second wedding was a quiet, private ceremony at the courthouse, but it was nice to know I had the option to get married in my own church that time had I really wanted to.

These days neither of the Road Trips are into organized religion and have absolutely zero desire to be married in any church or with any religious trappings. We’re planning a strictly secular ceremony and are quite happy that in Florida there are plenty of Notaries who are happy to perform ceremonies for those who, like us, prefer that sort of thing.

If you are religious, however, it’s a good idea to check with your pastor, priest or other religious leader to see what your options are before you get your heart set on walking down your usual Sunday aisle.

Did a previous marriage interfere with your initial remarriage plans?