my missing self-confidence? I seem to have misplaced it recently and want it back.

Sigh… I realized a couple of days ago that one of my large sources of discontent was coming from comparing myself to others around me and coming up miles too short! Why? I have no clue, but I was doing it and making myself feel < -> big. Where all that wonderful moxie and confidence that I discovered last Fall has gotten to, I don’t know, but maybe now that I’ve realized it’s gone I’ll actually be able to find it.

Still, if you happen to see it charging about, try to persuade it to come home.

# # #

In other news, the Holter monitor results came back. Ugh, why is it that doctors (or, in this case, nurses) act surprised when a patient doesn’t like the verdict of ‘normal’? I mean, there are certain tests that are supposed to come back normal; like Pap smears, AIDS test and cholesterol screenings. Any test that’s being done to diagnose an acknowledged problem should not come back normal, at least not without the next words out of your mouth being ‘but here’s what we’re doing next to figure out what is causing your symptoms.’

Granted, I’m awfully calm about it now, but when I did get the call I was like

Ooooooookay? What do I do with ‘normal’ ?

Sigh… so now it’s off to yet another specialist (I’m certainly racking them up lately; pulmonologist, ENT, endocrinologist, podiatrist and now cardiologist). In the mean time it’ll soon be back to trying to fix the tendon and ligament issues in my heal with a MRI on Thursday.