Wedding Planning

4 Months and Counting Down!

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

It’s really starting to feel close, now, but I’m happy to say we’re continually ticking things off the to-do lists! Most items have been shopping-related, more on the specifics in their own good time. In fact, most of the mainstream wedding highlights have been accomplished, what’s really needed is some serious DIY time.

Things recently accomplished:

  • Secured T’s suit & tie for the wedding (still need shoes)
  • Prepped a helluva lot of wine bottles for further DIY
  • Ordered and received linens for reception tables (buying was cheaper than renting)
  • Found the perfect fabric for table runners.
  • Ordered glassware for the wine-blending ceremony.
  • And started scripting the ceremony.
  • Shopping for honeymoon essentials (get your mind out of the gutter–not THOSE kind of essentials).

According to the experts now is the time to get on with:

  • Cake tastings
  • Hair and Make-up artists
  • Music Selections
  • Addressing Invitations (according to TheKnot.com–personally I think it’s way too early for that!)

Like I said, mostly this month I need to finish up the DIYs-in-progress and get cracking on some new ones–including the invitations! T’s got some projects of his own that need working on, for that matter.

Something else cool that happened was I received one of the Something Blue Vox Boxes from Influenster.com

jwalker_ttb_influenster_voxbox

Disclaimer: I received these products complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes.

The Something Blue box is, of course, geared towards bridal party members and features Luster whitening toothpaste, Dr. Scholl’s For Her Ball of Foot shoe inserts, 2 sets of Kiss false lashes, 2 containers of Qtips Precision Tip cotton swabs and a packet of Urgent Rx powdered pain reliever.

The aspirin powder contains caffeine so I won’t be able to use it, but I’ll keep it handy for the next time Todd needs it. It certainly sounds like a good thing to put into emergency kits or bathroom baskets for the day-of! Other than that, though, I’m looking forward to trying out everything else in the box, especially the Ball of Foot inserts–I’ve used Dr Scholl’s keel cups in my flats before (for tendinitis) and they work great, so I’m hoping these will work just as well to keep my tootsies cushy all day.

So far my attempts at using false lashes have been dismal, I’ve yet to get a pair successfully on, so the fact that there are a total of 4 sets might be a good thing! Kiss includes a pair of curved tweezers to help with application, so we’ll have to see if that actually helps me or not!

Of course, the Qtips will never go to waste, especially with those pointy little tips to help correct make-up mistakes. And the toothpaste, well, it’s certainly worth a shot to see if it really does whiten like it claims. (I didn’t notice a difference when I brushed after dinner last night, but we’ll give it a few goes before passing a singular judgement.)

Coming up: our first planning meeting and how it galvanized me into action!

Sweetheart Table: Oasis or Exile?

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

So. Sweetheart tables are a definite thing in weddings these days.

It's sweet and all, but doesn't it look a little lonely, too? | Image via Style Me Pretty | Photo by Anna Kuperberg

It’s sweet and all, but doesn’t it look a little lonely, too? | Image via Style Me Pretty | Photo by Anna Kuperberg

I’m not sure how I feel about this trend.

On the one hand…

If it’s been all day and you’ve just barely seen your beloved during the ceremony and pictures, having a little space of your own probably sounds like a good idea. A time to catch your breath together.

On the other hand…

How much time are you going to spend at that table, anyway, if the whole point of having a reception is to share your day with your guests? And while I love spending 1-on-1 time with Mr. Road Trip, I’m afraid I’d be distracted by the other tables around us anyway, not to mention wondering what they were talking about!

Sure, it takes care of the who-do-we-sit-with dilemma: parents? bridal party? people we haven’t seen for years who flew across country to spend a couple hours with us? But I’m not sure it’s the best solution. More like, if I can’t sit with everyone, I’ll sit with no one, and that sounds almost more spiteful than practical. (But, really, I can see where it’s the only sane option if tensions are running high.)

At the same time, if you’re constantly up visiting other tables and trying to say hellos and cutting cake and tossing garters and bouquets and catching various photo ops, that sweetheart table is just another still-life photo op in the waiting. A cute one, but you could stage any 2 chairs with signs for Mr & Mrs and have done with it.

Image via Style Me Pretty | Photo by Miki & Sonia Photography

Wouldn’t this just be amazing?! | Image via Style Me Pretty | Photo by Miki & Sonia Photography

Personally, I love the one long table option but that’s not really practical for all groups or all spaces. And Mr. Road Trip wasn’t really a fan of it, either, when I brought it up one night at dinner. But, then, as is usually the case, Mr. Trips had a brilliant idea that we–due to having changed our original plans for our reception vision–now cannot really use. But I’d like to offer it up to you as a possible solution:

Table. Hopping.

Now, not just going from table to table while everyone else is eating, but actually having 2 seats at every table reserved for the newlyweds so you can go from table to table, sit down, eat a little something, and converse a bit with your guests.

Granted, this works best with a tapas-style or tasting menu where there are as many courses as tables, but tasting menus are actually gaining ground in the catering world, so it’s not incredibly far-fetched. (Sure, they’re gaining ground now–2 years ago when I was approaching caterers with request idea everyone and their cousin was pushing stations, stations and only stations. Sigh…) It’s a little like speed dating at your wedding, but I still love this idea and think that guests would really adore it, too.

So, hive,  let this be a lesson: just because your groom-to-be isn’t all up on the latest wedding tricks and trends, doesn’t mean he might not have a brilliant, left-field suggestion ready to pop out as the perfect solution. And if you’ve done this or plan to do this, I totally want to hear how it went/goes!

Rings On Our Fingers

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

Choosing the engagement ring was a collaborative effort. I had certain things in mind that I let Mr. Road Trip know about (like the fact that I wanted a square stone or setting and that I really liked the halo look over a solitaire, for instance) and then he went out looking for something he liked that took those parameters into consideration. (I also told him I was not interested in him spending 2 months salary on a ring, or even 1 for that matter–I love a good deal and didn’t mind at all if my e-ring fit that bill!) When he was pretty sure he’d found the right one, then he took me to see it just to make sure I’d like it.

Hello, Pretty! | image via Pink Shutterbug Photography, cropped by Miss Road Trip

Hello, Pretty! | image via Pink Shutterbug Photography, cropped by Miss Road Trip

All was not perfect in jewelry-land, however. Within a couple of months I was bringing it in to have the setting tightened and had to bring it back several times that first year before they finally fixed it semi-correctly (it no longer rattles or swivels in its setting, but the last fix was a bit sloppy, if effective). Mr. Trips suggested we just get me a new ring altogether, and I could wear my e-ring as a right-hand ring if I wanted. (And while some of the issues are definitely a fault of the original setting, it doesn’t help that I’m a big ol’ klutz and often misjudge doorways and such, but only one of the repairs was due to my klutziness–thank goodness for the Care Plan!)

By this time we’d also determined that the “basket” of the ring wasn’t of a size that was going to fit in the standard wraps, and the blue and white sapphire stacking bands I’d been eyeing would leave a definite gap–a look I was not fond of. So while a part of me was sad to give up that traditional stacked-ring looked, another part of me was anticipating the possibilities of a stand-alone band, too.

Sterling Silver & Diamond Band via Kay Jewelers

Not specifically this style, but something along these lines. | Sterling Silver & Diamond Band via Kay Jewelers

In fact, it didn’t take me long to have a new ring-vision in mind, a wider band with openwork/filigree details, millgrain edges and a bit of sparkle. Yup. I could be good with that.

There were a few rings I kept going back to, and since none of them were considered wedding jewelry, they were much more budget-friendly which was also nice. (For the record I did try that sort of ring from the Scott Kay line and while it was pretty, it felt horrible on my finger–big and clunky, even though it had a smaller footprint than the others I’d tried.)

Of course I wasn’t the only one getting a ring, this time, and on our 5th anniversary (which was also T-1 year til the wedding) we did a little ring browsing to see what he might like.

Tungsten Carbine Band from Kay Jewelers

Tungsten Carbide Band via Kay Jewelers

While I didn’t expect him to go for something ornate–that just not Mr. Trips’ style–I did sorta expect him to prefer a brushed finish or maybe a dual finish, and he thought he would to. Surprise, surprise, in person he was drawn to the the high-shine of a Tungsten Carbide band and it looked really nice on him, too.

We mostly knew what we wanted (thought I was still dithering between a couple of designs) but hadn’t pulled the trigger. Come February I was antsy to cross something off the massive to-do list, and since we’d just come off the holidays and were entering birthday season for both of us, I proposed (hah!) a practical solution to Valentine’s Day: why not gift each other our wedding bands?

Of course, when T selected a tungsten band I knew there was no way we were paying jewelry store mark-up when there are other options. Like many a Bee before me, I headed to Amazon.com to purchase his band and it arrived on February 13th–just in the nick of time!

Unfortunately, work had been more than a little hectic for Mr. Trips (winter is always a bad season for accounting departments, it is what it is), so we didn’t go pick up my ring until that weekend, but that was just fine because the sales associate at Marks & Morgan reminded us of a slightly different ring, one that included sapphires as well, that I eventually decided would be more to my liking.

Hers & His wedding bands

Hers & His wedding bands

So we each have our rings, now, and even though they spend most of their time in their boxes I have it on good authority (straight from the engine himself) that Mr. Road Trip takes his out and tries it on just as often I do mine.

How often do you (or did you) try on your ring before the wedding day?

Our Date is Officially Being Saved

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

Or so several of our guests have reported, since I did finally get them sent out.

When last we talked, my mock-up was looking like this:

Front and back (side by side) of what would be considered a "rack card" or insert, about 1/3 of a standard letter-sized sheet, landscape oriented.

Almost done!

But now they’ve got some color to them and are looking more like this. Exactly like this, in fact.

Front and back of the finished Save the Dates

Front and back of the finished Save the Dates

Once I made the decision to go ahead and have them printed elsewhere it was a no-brainer to work shades of our wedding colors into the mix. I’m admittedly proud of how my vines all turned out, and the hand-drawn frame will be showing up again on the invitations and our table numbers, too!

Since I had to place a reorder of bookmarks at Overnight Prints and had been very happy with their print quality before, I went ahead and piggy-backed the StD order onto that one. They have a lovely matte finish and the texture overlay I added to the final design showed up very nicely when all was said and done.

We did end up with more cards than we needed (the minimum order was 25) but I’m thinking I might trim out our picture and use those in some of the table decorations just so they don’t go to waste. Might as well, right?

Now, OP does offer corner rounding for a nominal fee (it was going to be like $2 or some such) but I saw no reason to have them do it when I have a corner rounder of my own, so that was the only finishing I did besides addressing the envelopes.

Speaking of envelopes, I designed these cards to fit into standard #10 envelopes, though I did pick up a pack of the nicer stationery-style ones instead of plain white. To address them I didn’t even bother with calligraphy (which I’ve been dabbling in since I was 11 or 12), but I did make this handy guide to keep my lines straight.

jwalker_envelopeguide

I don’t know if they still do it or not, but the larger wedding paper suppliers used to include a similar guide with their orders and I just thought it was the neatest thing. If you’re going with a lighter-colored envelopes it’s pretty easy to make your own out of an index card (or two and some tape) and a black marker.

While printed envelopes and fancy labels are becoming more common, hand-addressing envelopes is one of those old traditions that I think is worth keeping alive. It’s just so much more personal.

Of course, if you are using a darker or more opaque envelope and still want straight lines to work from, you can use this trick from those Medieval scribes that spent their days hunched over parchments. Using a straight edge and a pointed instrument of some sort (the tip of a bone folder, the back of a craft knife if you’re careful, etc.) to lightly score a line across your paper. If done just right, you’ll be able to keep your letters on the straight and narrow without your recipient knowing your secret.

Sure beats the flat-bottomed look of writing along a ruler, right?

The Drama Llama Named Mama

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

As I am quite well-versed as to who is on our rather select guest list, I know for certain that I did not invite the Drama Llama or even send them a Save the Date!

Unfortunately what I didn’t realized was that someone we are inviting has been doing a little moonlighting.

Namely, Mama Leadfoot.

On Mom's 50th Birthday Cruise: Miss Road Trip, Mama Leadfoot, Brother Speedy, Dr. Aunt, Brother Truck & SiL Teacher | personal picture

On Mom’s 50th Birthday Cruise: Miss Road Trip, Mama Leadfoot, Brother Speedy, Dr. Aunt, Brother Truck & SiL Teacher | personal photo

Have you ever been in one of those situations where you know you very specifically said A but the other party in the conversation seems to have heard D? That’s what must have happened all those times I said the following to Mom: “just immediate family and close friends, no more than 50 people, max.”

Seriously. Those words have been my mantra since we started planning. In fact, I know I used those exact words when she asked “You’re not thinking of having a big wedding, are you?” when I mentioned we’d started our venue hunt.

Now, I love our guest list. I love that each person on there is an active part of our lives. I also love that by each of us having done the big church wedding in the past, inviting everyone and their cousin to it, we’ve fulfilled our social milestone obligation and I feel no undue pressure to extend those courtesy invites to people we hardly ever talk to.

Or, at least, I didn’t until Mama Leadfoot started in on me a few months ago.

The conversation started something like this back in March:

M.LF: Several people [at a cousin’s wedding back home I was unable to attend] were asking about your wedding plans and I just didn’t know what to tell them since you aren’t inviting any of them.

Miss RT: Well, you could say that we’re having a small wedding with just immediate family and close friends.

M.LF: Well, I’ll tell them to ask you about it because I don’t know anything about it!

Passive-aggressive there, much, Mom?

Now, to her credit, she doesn’t know “anything” about the wedding (not completely true, but we’ll go with it for now) because she doesn’t ask about the wedding. I know she’s happy for us, I think she’s even looking forward to it, but you wouldn’t know it by her inquiries on the subject. And this might not be so obvious if she didn’t ask everybody about everything at every opportunity (we work together, she asks our clients about their kids wedding plans; she’s just that kind of nosey). If I don’t bring it up, she doesn’t either, and even then sometimes when I mention our plans in passing she doesn’t comment on them.

And the reason is the guest list.

The rest of that conversation was me trying to explain that between our budget (which she is not contributing to) and our preferences, we’d like to keep it small. And if I invite her one sister then I really would have to invite that sister’s daughter and granddaughter, not to mention the rest of that side of the family who all live in the same small town and talk quite regularly. And suddenly our guest list has doubled, and that’s before adding in my father’s side of the family or any of Mr. Road Trip’s extended relations. That’s why we made the demarcation immediate family.

It also causes me to do the confused puppy head-tilt when I think of all those times she was oh, so glad that she moved us away from said family members and how she didn’t want to be a part of their gossip and in-fighting and how horrible that self-same sister was to her growing up. And then Mama Leadfoot says to me:

Well, it hurts my feelings that you aren’t inviting them, but I guess that’s my problem.

Just twist that knife, okay?

Of course, at this point I just have to give up–but not give in! First of all, our budget wouldn’t stand the change, it’s just not a possibility. Secondly, the contract we have with our venue is for a fairly small space and was booked over a year ago and there was just no changing it at that point, even if we did fall into a pile of money to afford it. Finally, though, with family comes even more drama. And while I respect my roots and where I come from, I don’t need them telling their favorite make-fun-of-Miss-Road-Trip-as-a-brainy-6-year-old stories that they tell every. visit. home. Teasing is not my love language (is it anyone’s? sometimes I wonder).

So our guest list currently sits at 8 family members, 7 co-workers, and around 20 mutual friends. These are people that make an effort to be a part of our lives (another thing they do not have in common with most of my family) and support us as a couple. And if anything, it’s likely to get smaller, not bigger.

Did you have any Drama Llama sightings from an unexpected corner?