So. First thing first: not nearly as perky this morning at 6am as yesterday and I accidentally grabbed the cranky pants (or skirt as it was) from the closet so I was not a joy to be around. Thankfully I was quite content to stick to my office and not venture out unless necessary. Too bad no one else got that memo.

Basically it happened: I jinxed myself. It was inevitable. Concentration? Shot. Productivity? Nominal. Overall wellness? Not exactly there. And then I got the phone-call.

Last month I had a chance to go by the vampire’s for my serotonin check but then the office never called with the results. When I called yesterday to schedule my annual I asked about it. This morning the nurse (yet another new one, why must I keep breaking them in???) calls to let me know the results were normal so they didn’t bother calling me. Um, hi, check the file babe: it used to be high so knowing it was normal again is sort of important. But of course it’s not her body gone haywire, I’ll bet she eats pizza once a week without becoming violently ill or having an irregular heartbeat for a freaking week and a half afterwards. I had to ask again to get the actual number: 82. Compared to the 217 from last fall thi is good news.

Let me repeat that: this is good news. I know this, I’m happy about it, and it fits since I haven’t been sick lately (well, okay, except last night but thats what I get for eating at Chilli’s, even when I eat something safe like grilled chicken soft tacos: such is life). The only dilemma it poses is the reason why: more that likely it’s because I have myself on a rather restricted diet, basically nothing that’s high in tyramine or seratonin–what I call the game of let’s not aggravate the tumor (or whatever it is). The other option is that the high reading was a fluke before and my body self-corrected. The only way to really prove that is to ditch the dietary restrictions (what I wouldn’t give for pizza or good old spaghetti sauce; seriously!) and see what happens both physically and chemically but that’s taking a pretty big risk knowing the potential damage it could do. That just doesn’t make sense. So I’ll keep doing (or not doing) what I have been and hope for the best.

Im still on the fence about the one test we haven’t done yet: the bone marrow biopsy to rule out systemic mastocytosis. It would mean yet another doctor and a rather painful experience with a needle, but at least it would be one more thing we could either confirm or deny. Considering there’s been very little definite about this whole process the last two years, the potential for another inconclusive finding is high. Do I want to put myself through it? I don’t know… I’m such a wuss when it comes to pain, on that part I’m a definite ‘no’, but I’ve also been so adamant about trying to find a cause for the skin flushes and the digestive issues, the heartbeat irregularites. The usual suspects all come up no, so we’re on this short list of rares and maybes. I will say I’m a lot more calm about it now than I was about 12 hours ago when all this came back up again. I could get away from the majority of the doctors and just hope for the best, but what if we miss something that could be treated or fixed and I wouldn’t have to be so hyper-aware and high-strung when it comes to every activity, every committment I make. Coin toss anyone?

But some good news! Let’s end on a happy note. Since I wasn’t in a frame of mind to do much tonight, I finished the back panel of the sweater tonight, so I guess that puts me around 30% done for this project in only 4 days? Not bad for a garment. And I got the lacquer done on the keyboard and mouse (pictures another day, once I get the monitor dressed up as well I’ll do a page of the process with lots of pictures), reattached all those keys and guess what? It works!!!! I’m typing on it now. It’s still one of those tiny space-saver laptop-type keyboards and the mouse is not at all ergonomic, but it’s now cute and awesome and works and I can free up one of the USB ports on Minnie. Actually, I can keep the scanne plugged in all the time and still be able to have a swap-out port for the external harddrive and camera cord to share. I should really get a hub but now that I realized that Sonja has a built-in card-reader it may not be nearly as necessary for everyday stuff.

I’m crossing my fingers for tomorrow to be better.