A Confession

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning
German wooden wedding figurines

image via stock.xchng | Photo by knubie

I didn’t want to be a Third-Time Bride.

Hell, I didn’t really want to be a second-time bride, for that matter!

When I, at the oh-so-wise age of 19, decided to marry my college boyfriend I thought that was going to be it. That he was The One and that we would be together forever.

Yeah, you can probably guess how that worked out.

The second time around, at world-weary 26 and after a couple proposals that never made it to the altar, I figured I knew what I’d done wrong the first time (it takes two to tango–and to screw up a marriage) and that I would be better this time around. I was marrying a mature man and we would happily grow old together.

Again, three guesses how that worked out (and the first two don’t count).

Now, of course, these are marriages that fell apart, not weddings, but all marriages start with a wedding of some sort.

The “third times the charm” saying taunted me. No pressure, right? If I go for number 3 and it fails… Well, then, that would just be too devastating to my ego. Prove I’m a total “failure” at being a woman. Not to mention look really bad if I ever hoped to date again–3 strikes, she’s out and all that. (And I admit, while I was totally okay being on my own, I prefer to be in a relationship of some sort rather than not.)

So a third trip down the aisle was not what I saw for myself.

And then I met Mr Road Trip.

He knew I didn’t want to get married again–he’s been divorced, himself, so wasn’t in any hurry one way or the other–but we started dating. Then we moved in together. Then, suddenly, I’d been with him longer (and happier) than I’d been with either of my previous husbands.

And I started to think: so this is what a successful relationship is like.

And think some more: well, now, hold up a minute. I’m happier with Mr Road Trip than any other man I’ve met, dated or married. Our relationship is different than any other I’ve been in or seen. What makes me think that, say, marriage to him would be the same as marriage to my exes?

Oh, there were still plenty of objections and obstacles to consider but that ‘what if?’ It opened a door.

If you were married before, were you reluctant to take the marital plunge again?
Or did you just know you would, regardless of what happened in the past?

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