While some brides and grooms have their hearts set on traditional vows to feel part of a larger whole, many a modern nuptial focuses on individuality. The desire to be unique and “US” is a frequent sentiment among wedding bloggers.

No where is this need to set yourself apart more apparent, though, than when one has been married before.

Everyone has baggage, everyone has a past, but on a day like your wedding,
the past is the last thing you want to be reminded of.

Let’s call these sort of things Anti-Priorities, shall we?

Anti-Priorities could include any of the following:

• Same wedding colors or theme
• Same dress!
• Same vows (unless, of course, you’re going with the traditionally-worded type)
• Same ring (unless we’re talking a family heirloom)
• Same readings/soloist/songs during the ceremony
• Same first dance
• Same catering choices
• Same garter (find something else to be your something old, please!)
• Same honeymoon!

For me, it’s less about what we’re not doing the same and more about the things I didn’t get to do the first time (no dancing at the reception meant no first dance–that’s something I’d LIKE to do, this time around, if it can be worked out in the space we have). But with both Mr. Trips and I being married before, can you imagine the awkwardness if I’d chosen the same dress or first dance song as his first wife?

For the record, their first dance was “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion. I’m having one of those The Wedding Planner-like flashes of inspiration: the theme song to an incredibly tragic movie may not be the best choice to kick-off a lifetime of happiness, you know?

It’s tough enough, when dating, finding out that your guy’s favorite date spot is littered with memories of his previous dates. You want this one to be different (hell, you want it to work!), it’s only natural.

Recycling is big these days, but I don’t think you need to recycle your wedding ideas, do you?