Because that’s our next art!

21 Magic (kuchumara)

Methods taught in the Kuchumara Tantra to increase sexual prowess and to enhance beauty.

I think this art (or at least the description of it) is what most people expect when they learn that the 64 Arts is a list found in the Kama Sutra. It’s actually one of the very few mentions of anything overtly sexual in the whole list. The rest of the source material? Obviously full of it, but here not so much.

Since I prefer to keep this blog a little more on the G-rated–okay, PG, PG-13?–I don’t want to get all graphic with the details of spicing things up in the bedroom. Instead, let’s consider magic in a large context–you know what I mean, let’s discuss that spark we feel with others: the catch in your throat when you see him across the room, the trill in your voice when you talk about him, and the ache when he’s away.

That, my friends, is magic.

Sometimes it seems like magic just finding someone in this world. And when you do, after a while it takes some effort to keep that magic–that spark of something special–alive!  What can you do?

We, Todd and I, have a few strategies for keeping things fun and taking time for each other. Because, really, what kills the spark (I think) is the mundane–we get too comfortable and forget to work on things, you know?

So what do we do?

• We always try to have dinner together. While this can be monotonous, just the act of sitting down to supper at the table together reminds us to slow down and talk about whatever’s on our minds.
• Friday night is Date Night. Even if we’re just hanging out at home for supper and our DVRed shows, it’s the one night a week where we put away the laptops and I put away whatever project(s) I’m working on and we spend time together without distractions. And if something interferes with a regularly scheduled Date Night, we make it up on Saturday, because those nights apart really are important.
• Once a month we have a Saturday Away. This is a recent addition to our schedule and it stems from the good time we had on my birthday trip. We had such a fabulous day and it really all boiled down to just spending the day together, away from the usual obligations and distractions. Because of this, we’ve decided to recreate that feeling once a month. We ignore household chores, plan something either in town or maybe a day trip somewhere, and just spend time together.

That’s our big 3: daily, weekly and monthly actions. Sounds kinda like a business plan but I swear it’s more fun than that! But that’s all just the planned stuff, the unplanned bits are just as important and just as magical.

Like when Todd makes one of the stuffed monkeys peek around the corner and wave at me–it always catches me off guard and never fails to make me laugh. Or this weekend when Todd had to go out of town for work and we exchanged newsy little emails each day–something we haven’t done since we were first dating, long distance. Seeing his name pop up in my in-box gave me a happy little thrill.

Question for the Comments:

What do you do to keep the spark–the magic–in your life and relationships?