Third Time Wife

Crafting the Ceremony: Walk Right In

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

You may have noticed that there’s been little talk of bridesmaids or groomsman in the Road Trip world. That’s because we’re not having any. This is one of a handful of “traditions” we’re opting out of for our wedding.

It’s not that we’re morally opposed to having our closest friends stand up with us, it’s mostly that with only 40 or so people at the wedding at all, having 8 or so people up front would feel like half the audience! The other part of our reasoning is that our friends are each wrapped up in their own day-to-day lives and aren’t really into the whole wedding entourage thing, so why force it? I’d even considered asking said closest friends to act as our House Party (an honorary title for Helper Monkeys who don’t have to wear certain things or stand up with us, but still help out) but with a DoC it didn’t seem necessary.

On the one hand, it greatly simplifies how many metaphorical cats we have to heard on the wedding day. On the other hand, it means there’s not much processing going on–especially when you consider how brief our aisle will be!

Admitting that I was a touch of pomp and circumstance to properly kick off the ceremony, we’ve decided it would be nice to not just have the ceremonial seating of the mothers, but also the rest of the immediate family that will be there, since we’re not all that many to begin with.

I figure FFIL Road Trip can escort FSIL Golf to their seats, followed by Mr. Road Trip seating FMIL Road Trip. Then, on my side, Brother Speedy can seat Doctor Aunt, Brother Truck escorts his wife to their seats as Brother Speedy circles back to escort Mama Leadfoot. We might also ask if Friend-ficiant L wants to process similarly or if she’d rather just position herself up front before hand.

The Dad Thing

Like fellow Honeymoon Bees Bicycle and Rucksack, my father isn’t available for that traditional walk down the aisle.

Well, he might be available in the grand scheme of things, if I were to find out where he was and ask him, but 8-year-old me ratting him out to the authorities and sending him away for 5 years and then opting not to see him ever again tends to put the kibosh on those sorts of requests.

(Yes, I’m making light of what was a very difficult time in my young life–more in deference to not bringing the mood down or triggering others with tales of woe. Laughter is the best medicine and all that jazz. Moving on!)

At my first wedding I processed alone. At the time it was the right choice for me to make but I distinctly remember the nerves and pressure of all those sets of eyes on me with no one to lean on–physically or emotionally. Not wanting to go through that again, I proposed that we Road Trips walk down the aisle together.

After all, I don’t view our wedding as the beginning of our life together as much as I do the next step in our overall relationship, and it’s a step we’re taking together. Escorting each other down the aisle makes the most sense, preserves our personal independence, and keeps me from either a) making that walk alone, again, or b) asking someone else to fill-in, which would feel rather disingenuous.

And what will we be processing to, you might ask? I’ve always loved Pachelbel’s Canon in D–it’s the band geek in me coming out–and I’ve heard so many versions of it that it’s almost hard to choose. For a while the Canadian Brass was the front-runner for favorite (low brass represent!) and then we heard the Trans-Siberian Orchestra version and it was pretty much all over from there.

(Direct link for the feed readers: TSO Christmas Canon Rock)

Of course I’ll have to edit out vocals from the center but their mix of strings and electric guitar is just the sort of traditional with a twist that appeals to us. And the fact that it might make some of our older guests’ eyes widen in surprise is merely a nice side-effect.

Our Friend-Ficiant

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

Exactly one week after announcing our engagement, we attended an Octoberfest-themed First Friday event with some of our local Meet-Up friends and, unbeknownst to the Road Trips, we were about to be given our first (and possibly most awesome) gift of our wedding: a gift of service.

It’s hardly unusual these days to have a friend or family member officiate a wedding, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about it in those first three month of pre-planning, but to ask someone for such a favor seemed like a bit of an imposition. (And, you know, if they said no I’d be really crushed.)

So when friend L asked who we were planning to have marry us, we said we’d probably just hire a notary to do it (as Florida is one of 5 states that allows that sort of thing). And that’s when she asked if we would like her to do it.

It's really tough to find pictures of L without a costume of some sort!

It’s really tough to find pictures of L without a costume of some sort!

We’d only been friends with L and her husband for about a year at that point, and she had assumed we Road Trips were already married. Within a couple of hours of that first introduction L and I were totally on the same wavelength, finishing each other’s sentences and becoming fast friends. And when we announced our engagement not only did she get a moment of ‘I knew it’ for good measure, she was–and still is–the person most excited about our upcoming wedding aside from Mr. Road Trip and I.

First she had to qualify, which meant either becoming a notary or get ordained by one of the online venues that specialize therein. Since we were, at that time, considering venues in Georgia as well as Florida (Thomasville, GA, is actually closer to Tallahassee than our venue in Greenville), she opted for ordination, choosing American Marriage Ministry over the ubiquitous Universal Life Church. Unlike some folks who get ordained to perform a specific ceremony and that’s it, L wanted to be able to offer her services to others, as well, so it was important to make sure the group she affiliated with fit in with her own beliefs.

She’s also been invaluable as photographer on 2 of my 3 dress excursions, researching venues, and keeping us on our toes about getting our ceremony put together.

Because, of course, that’s the beauty of having a friend perform the ceremony: you get to create it from the ground up!

The Cocktail To Be Named Later

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

Because the name is, so far, totally eluding me.

Which is sorta weird because the names are usually what come to me first on a project like this, and help guide the rest of the components. I suppose I’m putting a wee bit of pressure on myself with this one and that’s why it’s taken me this long to get this far with the cocktail inspiration.

Enough navel gazing! What (as-yet-unnamed) cocktail will we be serving to our guests and what bit of bubbly did we decide on???

Our mystery bubbles | personal photo

Our mystery bubbles | personal photo

A mixture of pomegranate juice  and dark chocolate vodka topped off by the Barefoot Moscato Spumante Champagne!

The pomegranate is from my original cocktail, and the chocolate–well, who really says no to chocolate? Not the Road Trips! We both prefer the sweeter, dessert-y-er cocktails for general consumption, so including chocolate was a good, safe (tasty!) call. The Barefoot Moscato was the only one of the three that really let the other flavors come through, and it’s rather gentle price-point certainly doesn’t hurt.

I hadn’t intended on having such a strong base-spirit getting into the mix to compete with the wine, but my first version with Godiva liqueur didn’t go so well.

Did anyone else notice the switch Godiva made a little while back? It used to be the color and consistency of, say, Kahlua, but now it’s more a creme liqueur. And let me tell you, creme liqueurs do not like to play nice with fruit juices. There is a cocktail (well, it’s more of a shot, I think) that takes “advantage” of this sort of curdling effect so liqueurs have with other liquids (it’s called a Cement Mixer for gross and obvious reasons–ick) but it’s not very appetizing if you ask me. So my second option was a flavored vodka I had on hand and it paired surprisingly well with the champagne* and juice.

After a quick check with the venue that we could have the bartenders top off our prepared mixture of pomegranate and chocolate with the bubbly, rather than serving it all pre-mixed from a beverage dispenser as originally planned (and thus keeping as much of the effervescence as possible), we’re good to go with whatever we end up calling this.

Which leads me to our first bit of signage created for the wedding:

painting in progress | personal image

painting in progress | personal image

I used one of our engagement pictures for a reference and drew up this little framed sign with the vines reminiscent of the ones on our StD cards (they’ll keep showing up as the DIYs continue). Since I haven’t decided what size frame/mat I want to use, I decided to scan it and paint it digitally that way I can re-size it at will. (Traditional watercolors really don’t scan well, in my experience.) Not to mention digital painting let’s me get away with NOT erasing all my sketch lines–bonus!

Okay, let’s hear it! Got any suggestions for a name for this sweet and sparkly concoction? I really want to use the word Sparkler or Sparkling in the name, it’s coming up with what to pair with it that has me stumped.

*small-c, following the old rules that sparkling wines made in the style of French region of Champagne could still claim that title, even though the practice is otherwise prohibited these days; Barefoot was apparently grandfathered-in. There’s your spirited (!) trivia of the day.

It’ll Be 5:30 Somewhere!

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

Under any other circumstances, mid-morning might be a smidgen early to start serving alcohol, but since it is a wedding and it does fall in the acceptable brunch imbibing zone, I don’t think too many folks will bat an eye at it. Though some will undoubtedly try to ease the social stigma of morning drinking by joking about it being “5 o’clock somewhere.”

(For kicks and giggles I looked it up: it’ll be 5:30 in Greece when our cocktail hour starts.)

Whatever.

For those not quite ready to partake of our signature cocktail (more on that in a minute), we will have other bevvies available, of course!

Honey Lake didn’t really have a brunch-level event package when we booked with them, so that meant we could pretty much cobble together what sounded good to us from their standard event menus. Since they do business retreats and the like, they did have options for breakfasts, so what we did was request the “Free Range Continental”

Assorted Breakfast Pastries and Muffins, Bagels with Cream Cheese, Fresh Whole Fruit, Fresh Squeezed Orange Juice, Freshly-Brewed Regular and Decaf Coffee, Assorted Herbal Teas and Water

but asked to take out the bagels & schmear (a little involved for mingling—breaks the 2-bite rule) and sub for it one of their Display Options: the “Imported and Domestic Artisanal Cheese Board”

Assortment of hard & soft cheeses from around the world, organic fruit, marcona almonds, crafted breads, quince jam, tupelo honey.

for a slight upcharge for the usual continental price.

We’ll have the usual high-top tables scattered around the bend of the fountain circle for people to cluster about (haven’t discussed whether or not there will be chairs set out—I vote no to encourage mingling, but we’ll see), the guest “book” set up on a table in front of the fountain, and an antique desk holding our programs (that will get its own post soon). Both Mr. Road Trip and I will be there greeting our guests and taking some semi-candid photos during that time (having gotten the family formals out of the way just before).

But, of course, it wouldn’t be cocktail hour without a cocktail!

I’m in 100% agreement with the practice of having a signature cocktail to both cut down on bar costs and to personalize the event that much more. And creating cocktails is something I really enjoy doing, so it was a no-brainer that we’d be coming up with something very us for the wedding.

Brunch cocktails usually fall into the Mimosa or Bloody Mary camp, and since our wedding is wine-themed, it makes sense to go with the former and use a sparkling wine as the base for our cocktail. I actually have my own signature drink, The Snarky Tart, that I created years ago and I wanted to include a nod to that, and other flavors that we both enjoy.

This is what our tasting session looked like, trying to figure out which bubbly to use…

Which bubbly will it be? | personal photo

Which bubbly will it be? | personal photo

Oh, the rigors of wedding planning 😉

What did we decide on? Stay tuned…

Thinking Our Way Through the Day

Third Time Wife, Wedding Planning

Back in high school I had the opportunity to intern with some local event planners and get a behind-the-scenes look at some amazing, large-scale events. I also spent a lot of time reading back issues of Special Events magazine and reading books on running your own catering business, and one of the best pieces of advice I read, one that I’ve used with every party I’ve every hosted or helped with, is to do a mental walk-through of the event from the perspective of the guest to make sure you don’t forget anything.

Depending on how much help you have planning your wedding, you may not need to do such a thorough session yourself, but it never hurts to figure out what questions to ask.

Since a Day-Of Coordinator came with our venue rental, I don’t have to worry about where the garbage cans will be/where discarded plates will go, but I still do this sort of run-through so I can better communicate to her what I see for our day. Since the DoC is there to fulfill our wishes, and knowing we have a few different ideas of how we’d like things to go, it’s up to us to know what we want.

As far as the timeline goes (aka the first hurdle to jump), we worked backwards from “the main event” aka the ceremony at 11:45am to figure out the earlier events. To give the guests time to arrive and us some time to mingle, we decided to start “cocktail” hour 10:30am and start herding guests to the opposite side of the fountain for the ceremony and then process in a somewhat orderly fashion to the reception venue just to the right.

Or, for the more visually minded among us:

HLP Mock-Up

On our last visit there I was happy to see that yes, really, the “front” of the circular drive is deeper than the “back” and that the right offshoot opens up to the driveway which will help channel our guests one way rather than encourage then to wander higglety pigglety hither and yon.

This also tells us that with cocktail hour starting at 10:30, the photographer doesn’t have to arrive until 9:30 or 9:45, which means we Road Trips can actually sleep in til 7 or so before I have to stumble off to the showers to start getting pretty. (Mr. Road Trip, like most grooms, is much more low-maintenance. If it takes him more than 30 minutes to get ready I’ll be shocked!) We’ll technically have our photographer 8 hours, so if we wanted to traipse around for more photographs after the reception we still have that option (though I suspect we’ll be on emotional overload by the time our guests start to leave and want nothing more than some peace and quiet).

Since we’re providing the music ourselves, this also tells us how long our playlists for each portion of the wedding need to be, which our DoC will be pressing play and pause on (one less thing to assign a friend to be in charge of).

And with that done, now it was time to start drilling-down into the details of each part of the day.